In the gap between being a boy and an adult.

I'm 25!

As I look back, there are so many things to give thanks for...and so many other regrets...But I guess that's the draw of the 2nd law of thermodynamics - The only way is to move on, and move on I shall!

Once again, I've started my birthday giving an hour back to God, guess that's the least I can do considering what He's done for me. I kinda like these hourly sessions that I've set aside for him every birthday, just sitting and talking to Him. Throughout the past few sessions, I've asked for many things and He has delivered on every single occasion... My job, my results, my friends and family and my direction in life...

This year, I've specifically asked for a few things:

1) That He gives me a clear direction in the path He wants for me.
2) To put me in a school where I can be effective in changing the life of at least ONE student.
3) My relationship with Janice to be fulfilling and lasting.
4) For Janice to be able to move on in life as well.
5) To preserve my body as I ride a motorbike.

To these, He gave me a few words (better write them down lest I forget)...

There have been a few recurring themes recently - the providence of God and the call to sacrifice.
Of course, it's only natural that I'm called to the message of providence. After all, who likes to sacrifice stuff? Matthew 6 talks about His providence over all nature, so how much more for a human? Malachi 1,2,3 speaks of the need for a sacrifice that is pleasing to Him. More surprisingly, Genesis 22 comments on both: Abraham's sacrifice of his son and God's providence of a suitable substitute.

God's providence and the need for sacrifice goes hand in hand.

Which was a little odd and contrary to what I believed in - that God only wants the best for you and it shouldn't be commensurate with what you give Him...after all, this is a religion that has its basis grounded in 'faith' and 'grace'.
The reconciliation is simple though, since the 'need' for sacrifice stems from us and not from God, and this 'need' is based upon our reciprocation of our love for him. So like any parent who will give the best for their child whether the child is disobedient or not, God still wants the best for us and He knows that the best situation is one where there is mutual love for each other. The need for sacrifice flows out of this as an 'observable' and acts as a substantiation. Let's face it, wouldn't you sacrifice things you cherish for the one you love? It works the same way.

So how will this year pan out for me? I have no idea...but as I stand on the cusp of being a real adult straddling halfway between 20 and 30, I can look back at my life and appreciate that everything that I've gone through -- the hardships, pain and pleasures of it all -- have made me whom I am today and I'm thankful for that.

Will I be able to say the same next time? I do not know but I guess that whenever I am able to reach that conclusion in the future, it means that I'm in a position of stability and maturity. So thank you God, family, friends and circumstances for allowing me to be the person I am today!